With the 2014 baseball season kicking off this Sunday, I thought I would revisit a figure from my childhood that had me obsessed with watching baseball. I know you guys are already shouting out names of HOF'ers like Ryne Sandberg, Ozzie Smith and Tom Seaver, while you hardcore fans are yelling out obscure players you remember from you baseball card collection like Pete LaCock, Tom Veryzer and Dick Pole. Yeah, all those players are cool and all, but I'm thinking about Morganna, the Kissing Bandit. Longtime Baseball fans will remember Morganna as the super skinny, mega-breasted babe that would rush the diamond and plant a smooch on an unsuspected batter. With her tiny waist and I-cup breasts, one writer noted that she made Dolly Parton look "developmentally delayed". And that's putting it lightly! For trivia's sake, Morganna first lucky recipient of her cherished kiss was Pete Rose in 1971. I'm sure Pete rose with excitement.
Morganna was able to transition her career from repeat trespasser to Playboy model to occasional movie star. Before she was bouncing on the field, she was getting completely nude in the 1969 bawdy comedy flick "Indian Raid, Indian Made". Yeah, I've never seen it either, but thanks to our friends at , you can check out the amazing clips that will have you choking up on your bat.
Many might consider baseball a more exciting game in the twenty-first century, but today's fans will never get to enjoy the excitement and sexual playfulness of Morganna innocently interrupting a game with her short-shorts, heaving hooters and attractive smile. All you guys have now are douche bag drunks making asses of themselves, further slowing down an already slowly-moving game.
I miss you, Morganna. I wish you would've showed up at one of my Little League games and given me a kiss on the cheek before I struck out for the third time. At least you would've been a nice consolation boobie prize after losing the game.