As Mellanie Monroe and Dayna Vendetta amiably squeeze into their whorewear for Lexington Steele's "Lex Likes 'Em Thick," we realize, yet again, that we are in full agreement with Lex.
The blonde Monroe could be Adrianna Nicole's sister (and Adrianna Nicole has always been a favorite), but it is Vendetta who looks like she was born for that lingerie: brassy red hair, fire-engine red unmentionables, and pink nipples along with a downright cheerful attitude. We feel happy for Lex. We think: Good for Lex.
But in walks the director himself, and the mood begins to darken. He is hesitant, unLexlike. He holds a bottle of baby oil and suggests the women start applying it. We think: They will ruin their lingerie.
Indeed, Readers, the lingerie is so intricate that you'd think Vendetta and Monroe are being fitted for a voyage to catch Moby Dick. Regardless, they take to their new duties with relish. And baby oil.
Then Lex walks in again and says that the guy who was supposed to fuck them couldn't make it. This just sounds odd.
After all, the movie title is "Lex Likes 'Em Thick." And we're not pretending the performers are anyone else. It's not like they're disappearing into roles like Riley Steele or something.
Then Lex asks cameraman Kevin Moore if it would be allright with him (Moore) if Lex steps in.
"Sure," Moore says. "But what do you girls think?"
"Sure," they say.
It is a useless exchange. What would have been interesting is if either of the women had said "Fuck No!"
Despite this, the three commence to fucking,and we are again happy for Lex, in physical need of the caterwauling Monroe, and beginning a manageable crush on Vendetta.
It all works out in the end.
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