Naked Jello Wrestling Is Not A Game During "Bikini Spring Break"

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During the rest of the year, sure, naked jello wrestling is a fun thing to do when you're hanging out with your friends, you have a kiddy pool, and you feel like seeing some gelatin-covered titties. But when the weather gets hot and "Bikini Spring Break" is in full effect, naked jello wrestling is war; no matter how much lime goop your opponent throws in your eyes, you still see red.

And yet, it's not the violence that we're celebrating here, but the expression of rage (one of the most ancient passions). These young men and women finally have some time off school, they don't need to impress anyone or meet any deadlines, yet they're busily plotting ways to pin each other, to strip each other down, and how to surreptitiously taste a bit of jello off each other's nipples. If they can conquer these challenges, adulthood will be a cake walk. (Yes, college students, taxes are essentially a mess-free version of naked jello wrestling.)

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