So This Is How To Swallow A Twinkie

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Because we haven't eaten one of these pale, long cream-filled pastries in a long time, we've forgotten how best to enjoy their delights. Thankfully, we've got real life twinks who remind us how best to enjoy the most infamous of synthetic culinary indulgences.

What better way than to visit the twink factory, , and take a lesson in binging from Jade Parker and Derrick Porter. These two epitomize the twink. Skinny, blond, pretty in a youthful way, and full and burgeoning sexual earnestness. The consistency is just like a Twinkie, too. Light and fluffy as a cloud. Just look at how the hair bounces from the breeze blowing between their ears. But that's why we love Twinkies: they're not for the nourishment, but purely for the indulgence of something frothy and sweet that tastes instantly delicious before moving on to something heartier.

Then there's always the joy of sucking out the white creamy center.

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